The title of this write-up may not make sense to everyone. This is not for those who only loved one person in their entire life. Nor for those who got married to their first boyfriend/girlfriend. This is not even for those who have not loved anyone at all. This will only make sense for those people who have stayed single in spite of their dating history. Those who can’t seem to land what they call a “forever”.
Yes, as of press time, I’ve met four different loves of my life. Impossible? Not for me. I may even have a fifth one later on. Who knows? But for now, let me tell you about the four different loves that I’ve, so far, come across.
#1 The One That Got Away (Soooo cliché)
This is the love who I’ve been eyeing on and never thought would look my way. This one was the heartthrob! The type that everyone wants to get their hands on. This has the sparkly eyes, and heart-melting smile. The one who was always fun to be with. No bad memories (except for our parting of ways) and never a dull moment. Young Love, so to speak.
This is the type that you look forward to every morning. Breakfast dates, weekend getaways, and never-ending phone calls. The first thought as you wake up and the last thought as you bid the world good night.
This was also the one that you’ve made your biggest mistake on.
You’ve let this one go because you were still immature. And so, the regret will forever be there. This one is always on my “what ifs” list. The one that I’ve wished I could have loved more without holding back. Now, I will never have the chance. Married for so long now. I’ve just got to respect that.
#2 The One of Chaos
This one got so complicated. Started smooth and enjoyable at the beginning but became a roller coaster ride all the way to the end. This is the one that was quite vague, but lasted quite a while still. A contradiction of all sorts yet very much unexpected. This is the mysterious type. Very alluring yet very dangerous.
This has the staring game on, because our eyes spoke volumes of what we could not say to each other. Or was it just me, who could not express how I felt? This one does the one step forward but takes 2 steps backwards afterwards. This one never goes anywhere. And remains a mystery up to this day.
This is the one you will somehow miss, because you’ve made so much memories yet you don’t even know where you stand in each other’s lives.
This one is kind of yes but also somewhat a no. This one is someone that you have loved, yet never told. This is that someone that you know you should let go of.
#3 The Easy One
Nope, I’m not saying that this person is an easy-type. On the contrary, this one is very rare. A diamond in the rough. A soulmate, if you will. This is the one who is easy to be with. The one who brings so much comfort by their mere presence in your life. The one who can light up your entire world, and then you begin to see things clearly. This is the one who will transform you to become the best version of yourself. This one brings out the best in you.
Yet this is someone you cannot be with. This is someone who is just passing through. This is the one who has purpose in your life, yet not the one who will see you through. This is the very one who comes to give you that push that you needed to get your life going.
This is the one that you argue with yet never really fought with.
This is the one who puts up with you and you put up with yet you both can’t really give up on each other either. This is the one that you will miss because they bring so much bliss. This is the one that you will wish for, but can’t keep anyway.
Yes, you’ve read that right. Waited for this one for so long, yet sadly this one is still very wrong for me. This is the one that came with glaring red flags! Maybe sirens even, that screamed danger in my face. But, I’ve waited for this one for so long, that I’ve ignored all of the warning signs anyway. This is the one that I’ve took the most risk for. This is the one that opened me up again but has actually just ripped me open.
This is the one that felt like a whirlwind. This is the one that came with quick signs of being The One. So many similarities that would make you think of compatibility. This is the one that came with so many promises that, unfortunately, only ended up as lies. This is the one who’s too good to be true. This is the one that kept you waiting and hoping for something that will never come. This is the one who has made me hold on, only to find out that I must let go.
This is the one that will totally change your perspective on love.
No, this one did not make me cynical like the past ones that I’ve dated. This one did not make me hate myself for taking a leap that has only left me injured once again. This is the one that made me realize how much of a gamble love is. This is the one that helped me feel how liberating it is to love and be loved regardless of the outcome. This is the one who has taught me patience and made me see the limitations of my tolerance. This is the one who will make me a better person for my next relationship.
As you can see, I am still very much hopeful for the fifth one. And this time, I’ll be ready. Ready to love and not hold back. Ready to say how I feel and express my thoughts, too. Ready to keep someone that I can grow old with. And ready to open my heart again to take risks, to build patience, and to extend my tolerance longer. Ready to become the best version of myself for The One That I’ll End Up With Forever.
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