• Cebu, Philippines
Confessional Authenticity
Confrontations With A Single Woman

Confrontations With A Single Woman

Hey there! It’s been a while. But I’m back.

I’ve just had a very serious conversation with myself. Yes, I am that single woman that I’ve confronted with. And no, I am not crazy. We all talk to ourselves, one way or another. Don’t be a hypocrite!

It took me a great while to realize that I have given myself a very long time of self discovery and exploration. “Me Time” was never an issue with me. And the years that I have spent alone, should have addressed all of the issues that I have had. I do admit that in this lifetime of mine, I have or had so much baggage that nobody knows about. Why would I tell people about my concerns anyway? You see, there is a psychology behind every grown human being. Well, I sure do hope that I have grown.

My Childhood…

I’ll try to be completely honest here, though I don’t believe that I need to pour so much of myself out as well. Well, that will make me lose the mystery in my being, wouldn’t it? Yes, my life has always been an open book, but I did not allow everyone to read the pages that hold my deepest and darkest parts. I have only chosen a few souls to get a glimpse of my own, at different times in my life. I am a very independent person because I have always been attending to my own needs, most especially the emotional and mental aspects, all by myself. Financial, even. And I have grown accustomed to that. It’s a very hard habit to break. So what you see as a strong woman, was a child who has learned to protect herself all her life.

Why are you still single?

I always get this question and I am honestly getting tired of hearing it. For one thing, it is a very hard question to answer comprehensively and at the same time it is actually a very simple fact of life. I mean, I am not the only single person in the world. You know? How can I answer the question? I am not very sure. But I can somehow dissect the underlying reasons for being so.

I have had a series of failed relationships.

When I was angry, I used to put all of the blame on my exes. Forgive me, Dear Exes, it was my strong emotions talking then. Could even be the spirits that I used to consume in bars or parties. But nowadays, I would tell you that I have had my shortcomings as a girlfriend. You see, I am not used to taking care of someone else. I only know of taking care of myself. I could get self-absorbed, I guess.

I’ve been running away from all of my troubles since I was very young.

I was a very happy human being because I put all of my problems in the back burner. Putting all of my sadness aside is my kind of game. I did not give them any recognition or any thought at all. I’ve just ignored all of them and went about my gregarious and fun life. So, I am either a fight or flight person. I guess, you now get the drift.

I don’t really have any favorites.

Or if I did or do, I had or have a lot. Meaning, my favorites are usually short-lived. And varied. Deeper meaning, I get bored easily. Maybe this explains why a commitment is not something that I would easily get into. I have to make sure that I get to be with someone that I’ll never get tired with. It has happened to me once, and I had a hard time leaving the relationship which was kinda traumatic for me. I don’t mean to be mean, just stating a fact. And when I feel that the person is starting to show signs of getting tired with or of me, I also leave before they do so. Haha! Yes, all my pride is all I have! LOL!

I guess I will just stop there…

3 strikes, you’re out. 3’s a charm. The list of reasons and excuses can actually be longer but it doesn’t matter anymore. You see, I am pretty much happy and content with my life choices and decisions. I get to live and stand with the consequences anyway. It is actually other people who keeps questioning my path. When did we become a society of know-it-alls? When did we start becoming so opinionated to the point of telling people what is right and what is wrong for them. I mean, if you are talking about morals that is fine. But when you start judging and dictating how a person should react, respond, or act in life situations, it’s really uncalled for. Why? Is your life so perfect that you have the time to put your nose in other people’s business?

Talk to me once you have that so-called-perfect-life. But if you are one of those fake-happy-people, just leave me in peace. We need not talk. I am genuinely okay with being alone and not needing anyone’s permission and consent as to how I will go about the days of my life. And that includes not needing yours, Darling.

Bonus

I am still in love with someone from my past that no one else comes close to. Unfortunately, the timing wasn’t right for us. And we just couldn’t be together as well. And I can’t be with this person anymore. Plus, attractions really come rare for me. There, I said it.

You might want to check my poem called Pyrophobia.

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26 thoughts on “Confrontations With A Single Woman

    • It’s all about being honest with yourself 🙂

    • I dont believe that a person needs to be in a relatiinship to be happy..Find things that make you happy and enjoy life.. It will happen!

    • Beautiful introspection! Take your time and yes no one has a perfect life. We are all growing and evolving on our journey of life. Best wishes

    • Interesting conversation! It can be difficult to move on with our life if we are still in love with someone from our past. Enjoy this moment.

    • HA! since my divorce I’ve been asked ‘soooo, you meet anyone new? You should get out there again, it’s been a few years’, etc… to tell you the truth, I’ve only dated two guys and then myself for 4-5 years now. I quite enjoy it just being me and my two kids. Relationships take work! Blah!
      I say, do what makes you happy. If you’re fine being single, then be single, If you happen to meet someone, then settle down. Don’t worry or think about it too much, everything has a way of working out the way it should ; )
      Oh, and by the way…Talking to yourself is awesome! It means you’re thinking and evolving!

      • Thank you for sharing your experience! The questions get annoying, right. Will send this article to the next person who’ll ask me again. Tired of giving out answers and explanations that I don’t owe anyone. Haha!

    • Oh wow, thank you for your openness. The fact that you were able to admit your mistakes in your past relationships means that you might be ready to love again. however, it’s still up to you to make changes and don’t just be pressured by what others say.

    • So brave of you to share such details. And I agree with Andrea above, staying true to yourself and not being pressured with the environment is just a thing now, and something beautiful about it really shines.

    • Thank you for sharing a very personal story. There’s nothing wrong with being single, so nobody needs to be pressured about being in a relationship.

    • One of the most precious gifts in this world is to be single and happy. It means that potential life partners would be more attracted to you and want to join your party. Don’t take being single and happy for granted, if you can be complete being single you are more likely to be happier in a relationship with someone else because you don’t need to depend on them to make you happy.

    • My love story is one complicated one, as well. I have briefly talked about it in my blog, but mostly, I am practically single and stuck in an awful situation. Seing that you are not married and awaiting annulment as I am, right now, I think you are still in a better position.

      I have thought of the possibility of being single, after my separation, and being single forever–for that matter, and I realized that if that were how my story was to be written, then I know God would not keep me wanting. That I would be content and would feel complete–despite.

      Happiness is what you make of it… and does not follow the world standard. Good luck!

    • I think there is too much emphasis in society on whether people are single or in a relationship. It’s more important to be happy.

    • Who cares whether you’re single or not, as long as you’re happy? And yes I talk to myself too, we all do. Some of us just admit it 😉

    • I hardly think if the person is single or not, I only ask if we have a party or something around the corner and it’s only casual: are you by yourself or need a plus one?

    • It’s good that you had a time to “talk” to yourself. I do it all the time and it just helps me sort out my concerns and issues.

    • So wonderful to read a post that can be related to most people who are single , what matters ultimately is that one is happy and not worry about what others think of us .Thanks for sharing .

    • We often dont need a man to be happy. I really liked your conversation with her!

    • I love having conversations with myself. Sometimes you just have to be blunt and confront yourself.

    • i think we need to listen to ourselves , i could relate to the fact there there is a lot of a baggage inside which we dont speak about i also keep pushing my problems into a drawer which is not good I suppose

    • It is never a bad thing of being single. I am still single and love it! I don’t see myself with another guy.

    • So much this! Why is there a need for people to get women into relationships! I wonder if men get the same reactions?

    • It’s just part of the toxic Filipino culture, for society to think that a single person is like that because they are lacking or problematic even in keeping a relationship. Love comes in many forms.

    • Loved reading this. I don’t think you need to be in a relationship at all to be happy. I know plenty of couples who are miserable and plenty of single people who have a great life.

    • I totally agree with this. Marital status should not be a major issue. We should never get married because society dictates us to.

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