Children Need Discipline, Adults Need Self-Discipline
I have to admit that the hardest part about healing yourself, is the part of changing yourself for the better. You can’t decide to go through healing and remain the same rotten person that you once were. Growing up as a fighter, it is very difficult for me to restrain myself from saying something that I will regret later on. Self-Discipline does not come naturally.
To retaliate is easy, to keep silent is very hard.
But I have to go through the process, so that I will reach my end goal. My priority is to become a person of value and not to do things that will make me end up being undervalued.
Most of us think that being hard and difficult, makes us strong. We may seem that way at the moment, but that is not what people will think of you long-term. To always exert effort to appear strong and powerful, is not about convincing other people that you are. It is your way of convincing yourself that you are. Just like bullies.
But then, if you will look closely into their lives, they are just repeating a cycle that they were once a victim of. Stop the vicious cycle. It does not make you or any one around you a better person. It does not make you look or sound beautiful or graceful either. So, what’s the point?
Why do some people see the need to belittle others? Because it is the only way that they can feel that they are above the rest. It is one way of feeling better about one’s self.
When we were young, we needed parenting.
We needed adults to tell us what is right and what is wrong. Because they have already learned from experience supposedly. But when we become adults ourselves, we cannot expect our aging parents to keep reminding us of that. We need to discipline ourselves. You have to decide for yourself to practice Self-discipline. No one else will or can do that for you. Maturity, anyone?
Some of us may make the excuse that nobody really did that for us in the past. We were not loved enough. Or that we were not given enough attention. If you start recognizing these, feel the pain if needed. Then decide to move on. This is the beauty about healing. It’s about the realizations and the reactions that you decide to make moving forward. The better choices. As they say, “Be the bigger person”.
We teach people through our words and actions. We are influencers in every circle that we are in. What do we teach other people every day? Are we practicing self-discipline? Respect yourself enough, so that you can also respect others.
In the end, the only question that will be left when we leave this Earth is… Are you proud of the whole person that you have become? Not just a part of you, but the whole of you. What will people remember you for? Or are you just one of the bad memories that they’d rather forget.
And with that, I will say no more.
That is such a great way to look at things. We teach people how to treat us and how to treat others just by how we conduct ourselves.
Indeed, and we forget about that most of the time.
I love this so much! My mother was an absolute fiend. She was scary. She allowed her frustration to turn into abuse.
This is why people need self-control. Making excuses for one’s insecurities may lead to abuse.
Yes, I know people like you describe. They think being tough makes them look like strong individuals. Nothing could be further from the truth!
Amen.
This does make sense, and is part of the process, at least how things should go.
I love this. So incisive and so very true. I think many adults can forget about the self-discipline part which is all too easy to do especially as there is nobody to truly discipline us aside from ourselves in life.
It’s the forgetting part that most of us are guilty of.
It’s so important for parents to keep their cool and practice self-discipline. Parneting is hard, but we should never show our children frustrated or angry we are when they’re pushing our buttons.
Amen to that as well. It’s when we are frustrated that we act up the most.
100% agreed! Too many parents take the idea of discipline to such an extremem that it becomes abuse.
Most of the abusive people I know, such as my previous bosses, are people who are going through a lot themselves. I don’t try to understand them though because we all have our own battles and it’s not right to hurt other people just to feel good about themselves.
Agreed. Nobody has the license to hurt people with or without issues. And feeling good about it makes one a monster.
Oh yes, I am so proud of myself and what I have become! I only wish all this had happened sooner!
This realization hits me when i became a parent. I am being careful when disciplining the girls. They are extra sensitive when it comes to scolding..
Way to go, Momma!
I love seeing others perspectives. Self-discipline is important and can be hard to implement as a young adult.
I grew up to be a fighter. Now, nearing my senior years and semi-retired from my corporate job, I would rather find pleasure in simple things. I’ve mellowed. There is nothing to gain from hurting other people’ feeling.
I definitely agree with this. Peace of mind is priceless.
I agree with how the hardest part of healing is changing yourself for the better. Thank you for sharing.
Acknowledging your past and your hurts matters. Moving on from it matters more.
Ageing gracefully is the secret of happy life. I think self-discipline is how you manage yourself to live in the moment.
Amen. Better to realize this late, than never realize at all.
Respect begets respect. We have to also understand them and look at their perspectives. I agree with most of your points.
Thank you!
Well i live in discipline family, and i think over-discipline was not worth it to try
Too much of anything is bad. Just like too much without it.
I love this so much! I think one of the things about growing up is to understand that not everything will go your way, and not everyone will be good to you, but to still keep being a decent, kind, and giving human being with boundaries that stop you from getting hurt.
Yes, boundaries is so on point. People know when they are doing something wrong. But instead of correcting things as a mature person, they keep making excuses for their childish actions and reactions.
I think I use words and knowledge to discipline my children. As in teach them why something is wrong or right, so that they can make correct decisions in the future. I have learned that yelling and screaming does nothing but hurt the human body and deafen the listeners ears.
Amen! 🖤
I use words and knowledge to discipline my kids so that they learn from the experience and do better in the future. Yemi King
This is a really interesting way to look at things and definitely very true. We need to learn via discipline as children to become self-disciplined as adults.
Agreed. I grew up thinking that crying was a sign of weakness but I could not have been more wrong. I am glad that I finally saw that crying is part of living life and of being human. So just like being strong, I believe that we don’t have to put up a facade just so people can see our lives as perfect. And as I have a small one, I talk him about this. I tell him my own experiences in life and what I learned. That way he can see it from a different perspective. In the same token, when I see my son going through similar things in his life, I ask him to talk to me about it. That way I can see it from his.
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
You are such a wonderful Mom! 🖤
Completely agree with you! It is important for us to understand as adults that we would face lot of challenges and we should be ready for them. It is during up and downs of life we keep ourselves strong.
What a great post highlighting the importance of humility, kindness, love and selflessness when it comes to treating others. Our perception of discipline for children could also be twisted based on the way we were brought up.
Thank you! And I definitely agree with your last statement. 🖤
Beautifully written. I think that if one has gone through so much pain, it shouldn’t be an excuse to act wickedly. It’d be nice to act kindly and be the help you never got. It should make one more empathetic. But then again, people are different.
Thank you! I love how you said it. 🖤
discipline is very important in any age. it’s never easy if you are lacking it
We should always try to make ourselves memorable in the eyes and lives of others. Memorable in a good way that elicits joy fro people.
I agree with you that yes, we need self discipline. We have to learn to walk the talk and be responsible with our actions. After all, actions speak louder than words.