Some recent events has prompted me to take the time of getting to know myself better.
This is mainly realizing all of my weaknesses and strengths, all at the same time. Identifying each became quite overwhelming for me. So, I took the time to watch videos or movies and read books or articles that centered more on personal growth and maturity. I am currently learning more about the different ways of life and I will have to choose one that suits me best.
What dawned upon me was that I was finding my true self in the process.
It was quite amazing how my mistakes came to mind, one by one. This has led me to come to terms with my past and became at peace as well. I’ve made peace with some people who I believe, in one way or another, wanted what was best for me at a given time in my life. This is regardless of how it was communicated and the experience that I have had in the particular relationship with each one of them. Human as we are, none of us are perfect. We differ in so many ways, most especially our mindsets. And it is in our differences that we drift apart. And there’s really nothing wrong in growing separately.
I’ve also come to realize that my unease stems from finding fulfillment.
Currently, I don’t really feel fulfilled yet. There is something missing. I couldn’t put a finger on it, but I am definitely not meant for where I am right now.
Most of the time, I feel like I don’t belong.
I’ve tried fitting in, in more ways than one. And it gets tiring and I just started dismissing everything. I am not happy that I am just settling for what I have now when I know that I can have more and do more. There is this need to be more. I really want to grow. And I must find that place where I could flourish and really spread my wings and soar.
I am trying to find purpose in my life.
I have to look into my passions and I know what I want and don’t want now. Currently, searching for opportunities of growth. I need to be somewhere where I can learn, not just impart what I already know.
My thirst is currently insatiable, and my mind is even restless during sleep.
So, I’ve started writing my goals down again and make it SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely). I’m starting to build my vision boards again. I lost them, when I lost myself. And that happened several times already. I have had enough. I’ve stopped looking at my failures as such, but seeing them in a different light… as lessons. Some, I’ve learned the hard way, but I had to.
We are currently living in a crisis and most definitely be gearing towards another economic depression.
I am getting myself prepared to face whatever is coming my way. Creating plans, making moves around each, and mapping everything out with timelines. I am driven more than ever to become better, get better, and give better to the world. Until such time that my better becomes my best.